Homeschooling was a “calling” for me. As for my husband, God called him a couple of years later. Waiting on God to call my husband was a serious lesson in marital submission, which has been an ongoing lesson in my life. Coming from a long line of fierce women, I have yet to master submission, even after 35 years of marriage! I write this to impress the importance of respecting your husband’s role as the spiritual leader of the family. Even if you feel that God has called you to do something. Wait, on the Lord’s perfect timing!
This happened back when I was a brand-new Christian, fresh from the apron strings of Bible Study Fellowship, and at a turning point in my life. I was a busy mom with two young daughters that kept me hopping between babysitters and nannies. My heart was ready to stay home, because I was pregnant with our third child. I had been working in my husband’s dental office and chipping away at classes at WSU to finish my college degree. When Mark and I married, I uprooted my life to move to Wichita. I had been making friends with his friends, and as I met their wives, I noticed most had careers or one to fall back on. This left me with a hard choice, whether to continue broadening my options while helping my husband expand his business, or be a stay home mom. My desire to homeschool had been growing, so I was praying for direction.
To be honest, I really hoped Mark would expand the office. The idea had not occurred to him, since I tend to be the dreamer of “the next big thing”. One night I could not sleep, so I got up and found some blueprint paper. (No, I didn’t just have it on hand… this was premeditated.) I spent a few hours, while everyone was in bed, drawing up a design to-scale of what could be done with the extra space next-door to his office. (No, the space was not available yet… but I knew it would be perfect!) The next day, something told me to hide the blueprint from Mark. (Maybe it was the verse that says, “The heart of her husband safely trusts in her, so that he shall have no lack of gain”.) A short time later, the office space became available! Thank you God, just as I thought! I prayed for the right words, and casually mentioned to Mark…the extra space would sure be great.
Of course, Mark couldn’t see how it would work, or what he would do with all that space. That’s when I, his better half, stepped in. Well, dear husband dear…Voila! I whipped out the blueprint scroll and spread it out on the table. I was so proud of my great idea! Mark simply stood there, not saying a word. He shook his head in disbelief. With some embarrassment, I looked at him, scratched my head and smiled, “Well, I was just sayin….”
Yes, God was at work in our growing family, listening to our prayers and teaching us lessons in marriage and finances. Did I mention that we were involved with Crown Ministries Financial Bible Study? The main goal in Crown is to avoid going into debt. I had a lot to pray about (and a lot to learn)! Was it God’s will for Mark to expand the business, and go into debt? Did God want me to continue to work outside the home? Or was it God’s will for me to stay home? Was I meant to homeschool? As I prayed, I laid out a “fleece” for the Lord to give me a sign. I prayed, “Lord, if you want me to stay home, then you will let me know.”
Meanwhile, Mark had contractors look at my plans and draw up their own. They gave him estimates as he talked to bankers. Mark called me from the office the same week that I had laid out “my fleece prayer”. I remember his voice, it sounded grave and seriously sad. He slowly explained why he just could not go into debt. I could tell that he really didn’t want to let me down. But my answer was easy, “Of course, honey, I understand.” And I really did understand. God had given me the sign I asked for! For a moment, I was disappointed, but that soon changed to a feeling of anticipation. I knew that God’s plans would be better!
During the wait, I had been teaching our two daughters to read and do simple math problems. (I knew God had called me, so I was not going to sit on my hands while I was still waiting for Mark!) I also volunteered at my daughter’s public school the first semester, while she was in first grade. The next semester, my husband got involved with the PTA with a group of men. All the time, I prayed and prayed and prayed. I knew that God was at work behind the scenes, even while I was crying my eyes out, and praying. Truly, I did not pester my husband, but the next year I did ask him to go to the kindergarten round-up, when it was time for our second daughter.
At the parent meeting, my husband asked the kindergarten teacher what she hoped to accomplish during the year of kindergarten. “Reading preparedness and simple math problems,” was her happy answer. (Our daughter was already doing both.) That night, to my surprise, Mark came home and announced that he had decided that we should homeschool! It was already August! This meant not just Kindergarten, but 2nd grade too! Mind you, I had no curriculum, and now we had and a toddler son to keep me busy too, but I was mentally prepared to get going! Friends had told me to “Be careful of what you pray for!” Let me pass this on to you! And, yes, wait on the Lord’s perfect timing! Be assured that it will not happen on your timeline, but God will answer your prayer in a way he chooses to bless you.
Incidentally, the commercial landlord had a hard time leasing out the space next door to Mark’s dental office. Knowing that Mark wanted the space, the landlord made a low offer that Mark couldn’t refuse! With the help from his dad (who had built his first house) and Mark’s handy brother, and my awesome blueprint plan… they created a perfectly great and very affordable office expansion. Yes, God will give you the desires of your heart.
Scripture to consider:
Psalms 27:14; 33:20; 37:3-7, 34; 40:1; 59:9; 62:1,5; 130:5-6
Lamentations 3:24-26; Micah 7:7
Proverbs 31:11-12
Judges 6: 36-40